What I really want to say is please come home, NOW! Promise me you’ll be careful with that big gun.
It warms my heart to see that you always have a hug and a smile for the kids. They’re drawn to you. I like these pictures better than the ones with the guns. Just saying…..
I know I’ve already said it, but be safe, okay! You see that guy on top of the building behind you right? Sorry, just wanted to be sure.
I am deeply proud of you. I am proud of the man you have grown to be and the soldier that you are. I know you take very seriously your pledge to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. I know your courage runs deep and that sometimes scares me. I know your heart is huge and that makes me proud. I know your foundation begins with a great spirit and is built on strong principles. I sometimes think you were born to be a leader. It just seems to come so naturally to you.
It’s not just on Veteran’s Day I feel this way, it’s EVERY DAY! I love you to the moon and back. ALWAYS BE SAFE!
- Love Mom
P.S. Did you know your name “William” means protector. I knew that when I named you.
I got up at 5:15am to attend a 7:00am yoga class. When I arrived there was what appeared to be a very intense boot camp taking place. Lots of running, grunting, weightlifting and sweating. I thought, “I’m glad I’m not in that class.” I walked into the studio and layed down my mat. No one was there, well except for this guy. He just sits quietly while we practice. He’s cute, huh?
I was ready to see what day 5 would bring, but had not expectations. The instructor was young and her teaching style was very technical. As she guided us through the poses. I felt very quiet, peaceful and alone with my thoughts. My poses weren’t perfect, but seemed to come easy. Before I knew it, the hour was over and it was time for savasana.
I left the studio thinking, I did it. I set aside 5 hours in 5 days just for me and my yoga practice. It’s hard to find the perfect word to describe how I felt, but I think calm comes closest. Also, relaxed, thoughtful and clear-minded. I also thought about Mattie Stepanek and what a gift he was during his short time with us. I’d like to share two of his poems with you.
Grasp the Truth
If you have enough breath to complain about anything,
You have more than enough reason to give thanks about something.
and
Thought
Love is peaceful.
It is an Anytime gift.
Thank you Leigh for reminding me of this amazing young man. I learned a lot of lessons in 5 short days. I’ll share three with you.
1. Taking time for me, made me see and appreciate everyone and everything in my life. Moments turn into days that turn into weeks that turn into months that turn into years that go by too quickly. I want to start appreciating the moments, all of them.
2. I have a lot to learn. I want to learn from the people in my life, those just passing by and those that are angels. I know the lessons are there , if I just take the time too look.
3. I am so very thankful that I have learned to “self-evaluate.” It has and continues to make me a better person. I am a work in progress. I will continue to practice yoga, it is an important part of who I am and who I hope to be.
NAMASTE.
Day #3: I took a class with an instructor that I have only taken one other time. The instructor’s name is Piper. She is just adorable, is always smiling and inspires me just by being herself. Her spirit is infectious, so I was looking forward to an hour Piper’s instruction. I thought, now I’ll start to turn the corner toward being more present in my practice. I’m ready for a fun, energetic and focused hour with Piper.
Lesson: She entered the studio with three other people and announced, one would be teaching the initial flow, one would be teaching core and the other would be observing. All three would be helping with adjustments. Piper would be teaching the middle portion of the class. My first thought was, WHAT? So much for Piper’s spirit. I tried to stay present and focused on my practice. My mind kept drifting to work, and how stressed I sometimes get in trying to make my yoga classes. Oh, and I was really hungry. I felt strong, even balanced at times, but my mind wasn’t really in the room. During tree pose I thought I heard an ice cream truck. My mind went right to, “I sure could go for a fudgesicle.” So much for focus.
Day #4: Okay, I’m not going to have ANY expectations for this class. Really, I’m not. This was is with Leigh. One of my ALL TIME FAVORITE instructors. She is peaceful and spiritual and kind and a fantastic yoga teacher. There is a calmness in Leigh’s instruction. When you meet her, you can actually feel her good and kind spirit. So no expectations, just going to see what happens.
LESSON: Leigh began the class by asking if we knew the name Mattie Stepanek. As she began to describe him, I remembered who he was. He was an American poet and an advocate for peace. He died a month before his 14th birthday. Leigh began class with a quote from Mattie:
“Promise me you will choose to inhale, and not breathe simply to exist.”
I took a deep breath as Leigh began to guide us from one pose to another. It was so quiet in the studio. Then Leigh quoted Mattie again.
“Remember to play after every storm.”
Leigh continued with her instruction, but it was almost as if I didn’t need to hear her words. I just moved gently from one pose to the next.
Note: This is the first time I would ever describe my movements as gentle. I’m usually trying really hard or concentrating really hard or trying not to think about work, but gentle, never.
Then another quote from Mattie.
“Think gently, speak gently, live gently”
It was time for savasana, total relaxation. Funny, I felt like I was already completely relaxed. I had let go of everything. As savasana ended, I sat up slowly and gently brought my hands to prayer.
I walked in with no expectations and that was the quietest practice my mind has ever experienced.
Namaste.
To be continued……again.
I’ve been practicing yoga for two years. I try to take a class 2-3 times a week, depending on my work schedule. I want to take my practice to the next level, so I decided to take a yoga class for 5 days, in a row. Something I’ve never done. I’m doing this for two reasons:
1. I want to have one hour a day, “just for me.”
and
2. I want to see what it’s like to really focus on my practice.
Day #1: I thought I’d start with a relaxation/meditation class. I love this class. It’s very relaxing (obviously) and not physically challenging A good way to ease into my week.
Lesson: I could not have been more wrong. It was 45 minutes of intense spine, balancing & core work. I was really sore the next day.
Day #2: I took my regular Hot Power Fusion class. It’s an hour long class in a studio that is 90 degrees. The instructor is terrific, thoughtful and a real yogi. She’s one of my favorites. She started by telling us to be present and “feel” the poses. Feel the poses, okay. So, I set that as my intention. I would feel and be aware of each pose.
Lesson #2: The more I tried to feel each pose and the more aware I tried to be the more unfocused I became. I even tipped over in tree pose. Yep, tipped right over! I never felt more unbalanced. Even though I was struggling, I thought, “I really like this class and am going to make a point to come every Tuesday. It’ll make me stronger.” When class ended Tiffany (the instructor) informed us that she would no longer be teaching at this studio. She was going to teach at a studio closer to her home. Maybe this is why I was so unbalanced?
Okay, so far my week is not going as planned. I’m working on becoming more centered and am now completely upside down (not literally).
to be continued…………
You don’t live here anymore…..
We stopped by one last time anyway……
It’s empty now…..except for the tears we’ve left behind.
So we won’t look for you here…..
We’ll look for you here, because we know you’re with dad, by the moon.
You and dad will be with us as we continue the chapters of our lives.
This will be a bit longer posting, but worth it. I promise.
This is my son Billy.
So I realized last night that in addition to all of the gifts our parents have already given us, they gave us one more.
I haven’t been to yoga since my mom died.
I spent the day putting together the memory boards for my mom’s funeral.